1 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,400 Hey, someone! Look, find a doctor. 2 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,000 - She's fainted. - I think she's having a fit. 3 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,120 Is anyone here a doctor? 4 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,560 We need a doctor! Anyone? 5 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,360 - Are you...? - A GP. 6 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,800 Dentist. 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,200 Trainee dentist. 8 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,240 (BELL RINGS) 9 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,640 TANNOY: Please be seated, ladies and gentlemen... 10 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,440 - Ah, right. - ...as the second half 11 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,080 is about to commence. - Shit. 12 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,360 Excuse me. 13 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,760 Excuse me. Sorry. 14 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,920 The locum didn't turn up. I'm really sorry. 15 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,000 I'll make it up to you if it's the last thing I do. 16 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,240 I think this might be the last thing you do. 17 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,280 Hi. Hi. 18 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,320 How was the first half, then? 19 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,640 Oh, my God, the, the music and the costumes.... 20 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,960 And how do they remember all the words? 21 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,520 - It's really... - It was awful. 22 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,480 I think you could hear Stephen Sondheim spinning in his grave. 23 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,880 I think he's still alive, isn't he? 24 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,120 Poor man. 25 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,280 Could I grab anyone a drink 26 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,440 - from the bar before the...? - Plus, we were saddled with 27 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,560 an understudy, with barely ten minutes' notice. 28 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,200 That is really annoying. Which part? 29 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,440 Would your friend like a chocolate? 30 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,040 Boyfriend, actually. 31 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,240 (TICKING) 32 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,240 - (GASPS) - Stop fidgeting! 33 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,600 I don't know if Adam mentioned, 34 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,760 but we'd love to take you for dinner. 35 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,360 Oh, we should probably get off, actually. 36 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,440 You sure we can't tempt you for a quick bite? 37 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,320 We've got a table booked at this little French place 38 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,840 on Poland Street. 39 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,080 My friend's a waiter there. 40 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,360 Well... 41 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,480 I'll call you in a couple of weeks. 42 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,040 Fucking hell. 43 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,040 The handshakes. 44 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,680 To be fair, she always used to give me a nice hug 45 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,600 when she dropped me off at school. 46 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:05,200 And a note saying, "Have a successful term." 47 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,240 I'm normally great with mums. 48 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,800 It's a shame you were late. 49 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,360 Well, I can't do half a Caesarean, can I? 50 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,160 I know. It's just... it wasn't quite, 51 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,800 "We'll tell her over a nice dinner," was it? 52 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,400 Oh, she's known ever since 53 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,120 she caught me wanking off to He-Man. 54 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,120 Look on the bright side. You're never gonna 55 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,520 have to sit next to her at the top table now, are you? 56 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,520 I never said never. 57 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:24,720 Didn't say yes, though, either, did you? 58 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,040 No, I said that... 59 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,520 You know what I said. And you agreed. 60 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,600 - Do you wanna grab a drink? - How about ten? 61 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,280 Why don't you have another go? 62 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,960 - Because... - Give her a call 63 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,920 - and take her out for dinner. - ...you would have to prise 64 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,040 my cold dead hands from the phone. 65 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,320 For me? 66 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,120 She's not gonna be able to do this week anyway. 67 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,840 It's a full moon. 68 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,400 (HOWLS) 69 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,240 (WHISPERS) That's it. 70 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,240 Nice big breaths. 71 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,480 Did you know that if you spread out the surface area 72 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,880 of your lungs and put them on a football pitch... 73 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,360 ...that's an instant red card and a direct free kick. 74 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,560 Don't listen to anything your mum says, by the way. 75 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,440 She's just a bit upset with me. 76 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,120 So's my mum, actually. 77 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,160 Maybe it's a mum thing. 78 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,280 Oh, and Harry is, too. 79 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,480 Maybe it's a...a people thing. 80 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,400 (BACKGROUND CHATTER) 81 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,400 - Hi! - Oh! 82 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,600 Oh, God, sorry. 83 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:17,720 Fuck's sake. 84 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,360 Is that your statement? Not even started mine yet. 85 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,520 Well, I've only managed seven words and a coffee stain. 86 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,400 Get me a latte. 87 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,640 Bring it up to labour ward. 88 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,040 Please. 89 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,400 Tell me you don't have to work with that twat. 90 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,440 Er, who, Adam? 91 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,520 Oh, er, no, he's all right, really. 92 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,760 Shit, sorry. 93 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,800 I didn't mean to be rude about your friend. 94 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,880 I was trying to... 95 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,600 I'm Ben. 96 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,720 That's my name. Obviously. 97 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,360 - Er, Shruti. - I know. I mean... 98 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,120 Do you like eating pizza? 99 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,240 That sounds like I'm saying 100 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,160 you're fat. I don't think you're fat. 101 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,880 I think you're not fat. I... 102 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,720 I think I'm gonna just start again. I'm Ben. 103 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:10,040 Would you like to go for something to eat, 104 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,680 for example, a pizza? 105 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,880 Er, yeah, that sounds nice. 106 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,280 Great. 107 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,880 Er, when? Like, tonight? 108 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,880 - Oh, er... - Tomorrow? 109 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,960 Saturday? 110 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,560 March? 111 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,600 Er, tomorrow. Tomorrow... Tomorrow could work. 112 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,480 But it's just us three, right? Like, you, me and Adam? 113 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,720 (BEN LAUGHS) 114 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:43,360 I'll meet you round the front, like seven...ish? 115 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,920 Yep. 116 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:53,400 Er, Beatrice, you're in Room Two. Second baby. 117 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,760 Apparently she's Jason Orange's cousin. 118 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,040 ALL: Ooh! 119 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,000 Do with that knowledge as you will. 120 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,560 Room Three is to remain empty 121 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,040 for the next 24 hours, I'm afraid. 122 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,920 - The only good room? - Yeah, so no water births. 123 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,120 The Secretary of State for God knows what 124 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,800 is coming around tomorrow, so I'm assuming that 125 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:09,920 we all wanna keep our jobs. 126 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,840 They must think the entire NHS smells like fresh paint. 127 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,000 Still, new computer. 128 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,320 It's been years since I've been able 129 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,600 to type words with G in it. 130 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,760 (LAUGHTER) 131 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,400 I wouldn't get too attached, love. 132 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,920 Once the right honourable bastard 133 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,200 has done his little tour, 134 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,160 that'll all be gone faster than they can say "AandE closure". 135 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,240 Right, who fancies twins? 136 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,560 (DRILL WHIRS) 137 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,520 I know I can count on you 138 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,480 - to keep everything perfect. - Yes, Nigel. 139 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,840 And you're going to keep Room Three free? 140 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,840 Look, if the patients don't need it, Nigel. 141 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,280 Ah, Kay, bit of good news for you. 142 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,040 They've dropped the complaint? 143 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,600 Ministerial visit tomorrow, and you get to shake his hand. 144 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,080 That explains why we've got the hospital's only mop today. 145 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,840 Yeah, shouldn't be too taxing. 146 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,960 Wander round the ward smiling like a gay proctologist, 147 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,360 then tell a quick, charming anecdote, 148 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,640 and it's off to the meeting room 149 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,720 for a plate of Sainsbury's cheapest sandwiches. You on? 150 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,520 - It would be my honour. - Good man. 151 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,720 - (ALARM BLARES) - Right. 24 hours 152 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,280 to make this place look like a labour ward. 153 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,640 (ALARM CONTINUES) 154 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,280 Ah, traditionally at this point, 155 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,360 a couple of you would be running to the emergency. 156 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,920 - Oh, we usually wait a bit. - It's faulty. 157 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,800 It randomly goes off for a couple of seconds. 158 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,760 If it keeps going, we'll run. But normally it just... 159 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,720 - (ALARM STOPS) - ...stops. 160 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,840 How often does this happen? 161 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,760 - Er, couple of times an hour. - Well, add that to the list. 162 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,560 Of course. And what would you like me to take off the list 163 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,560 to make time? 164 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,120 Right. 165 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,680 - I'm on it. - (PAGER BEEPS) 166 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:49,840 What's wrong with her, then? 167 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:50,960 I couldn't tell you. 168 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,360 - Is there someone who could? - She's obviously in pain, 169 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,040 but she won't let us look. 170 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,880 She's being...obstructive. 171 00:08:58,920 --> 00:08:59,880 Meaning? 172 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,120 Meaning she told me to fuck off in four different languages. 173 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,960 Sounds like she's OK to me. 174 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,800 Oh... 175 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:14,160 It is not sehr gut news, I'm afraid. 176 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,920 - Oh, dear. - I am afraid 177 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,040 ze whole leg will have to be cut off. 178 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,640 Oh! I've just ordered new slippers. 179 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,680 - Oh, no. - Will it grow back? 180 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,920 No. I don't think it will. 181 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:30,160 Er, Petr, would you mind escorting Professor Einstein 182 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,000 back to her laboratory? 183 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,280 Any chance you know which ward you're on? 184 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,240 Sorry if that lady was bothering you. 185 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,280 Are you kidding? 186 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,360 She's the best doctor I've seen since I've been in here. 187 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,160 Is there, er, anything the matter? 188 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,720 Oh, no, just here for delicious food. 189 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,520 - (LAUGHS) - How soundproof 190 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,920 do you think that thing is? 191 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,000 So how can I help you today, Mrs Winnicka? 192 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,040 I think something coming out. 193 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,560 Of there. 194 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,800 I hope not - labour ward's full. 195 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,480 Er, do you mind if I have a quick look? 196 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,880 Bend your legs, feet together, drop your knees to the side. 197 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,160 Well, get on with it. 198 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,840 (CLEARS THROAT) 199 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,200 OK. 200 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,800 Nothing to panic about - 201 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,680 you've got a bit of a prolapse there. 202 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,120 That's your uterus you can feel coming out. 203 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,280 - Oh! - Very common. 204 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,320 There's something we can put inside 205 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,240 to sort of... hold it all up there. 206 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,960 Haven't had anything up there since decimalisation. 207 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,720 I'll get you booked into urogynae clinic 208 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,000 in the next few days. 209 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,040 Tell you what. 210 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,160 I'll get everything I need from clinic 211 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,000 and pop back up with it later. 212 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,920 Go on, then, what you waiting for? 213 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,040 Well, everything looks absolutely fine. 214 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,720 - (CHILD SHOUTS) - If the tummy pain's settled, 215 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:04,920 - then I think we can prob... - Come away from there, 216 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,080 Mummy's having a conversation. 217 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,840 Why don't we look at your book for a bit? 218 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,280 Oh, well, like I was saying, if the tummy pain has settled, 219 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,040 then I think we can probably get you back home. 220 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,640 - If you're sure. - If anything changes, 221 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,080 just come back in and see us. 222 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,360 I mean, we are never closed. Unfortunately. 223 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,400 - DAD: Stop. - (CHILD GIGGLES) 224 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,480 Stop. 225 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,400 - Stop it. - Would you guys just, like, 226 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,880 hang on one minute, please? 227 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,080 - (ALARM BLARES) - My lady in One is absolutely 228 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,320 desperate for a water birth. 229 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,520 Any chance we can get her into Room Three? 230 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,720 I'm really sorry, but it's above my pay grade. 231 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:36,800 Lockhart needs it empty 232 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,480 so we can show it off to the Minister. 233 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,080 OK, well, I've asked. 234 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,880 Don't you think that 235 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,640 they should see what this place is really like, rather than 236 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:44,920 some Sellotaped-together version? 237 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:45,960 Good plan. 238 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,640 And when they sack me, you gonna pay my mortgage 239 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,560 directly into the bank or just give me the cash? 240 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,120 RIA: You'd think they'd have picked 241 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,040 - a quieter time to come. - Sorry to bother you. 242 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,800 - But... - And yet here you are. 243 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,520 So someone came in with nothing the matter 244 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,880 and you sent them home? 245 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:04,920 - No, but... - I'm sorry, 246 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:05,960 I'm quite busy right now. 247 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000 I probably can't arrange a full parade in your honour. 248 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,320 No, look. The stickers on her file. 249 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,360 Oh, shit. 250 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,760 That's a domestic abuse alert, right? 251 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,480 In the ladies' toilets there are red stickers 252 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,640 that you put on your notes 253 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,600 if you wanna talk privately about domestic abuse. 254 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,880 Good spot. 255 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,360 Parade's back on. 256 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,240 Hi! I'm Adam, one of the doctors. 257 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,280 Everything OK? 258 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,600 Nothing to worry about. 259 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,240 Just wondering if I could have a couple of words with you 260 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,080 - in private? - Ah, we want to 261 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,720 stay with Mummy, don't we, Ernie? 262 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,600 Well, I do have to examine your wife in quite a personal way. 263 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,120 I thought you said it was a couple of words. 264 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:41,200 Yeah, the words are "vaginal" and "examination", 265 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,840 and I thought with your son here... 266 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,000 - OK. - ...it might be better... 267 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,480 - You'll be all right, darling? - Yeah. 268 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,360 There's a coffee shop downstairs. 269 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,720 Well, I think the Caffè Nero opposite's probably safer. 270 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,200 - Go! Zoom! - Zoom! 271 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,560 Is everything OK at home, Anna? 272 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,640 (LAUGHS) How do you mean? 273 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,960 SHRUTI: Anna, you can tell us. 274 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,440 I mean, you've done the hard bit already. 275 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,480 - Er, the stickers? - ERNIE: Stickers! 276 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,320 Oh, God. 277 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,480 He's always doing this sort of thing. 278 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,000 ERNIE: Sticky stickers! 279 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,520 - ANNA: He loves stickers. - DAD: Ernie? 280 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,040 - Ernie! - ERNIE: Sticky stickers. 281 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,200 So sorry. 282 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,320 ADAM: Come on, then, Miss Marple. 283 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,800 DAD: Oh! Rascal. 284 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,760 (ALARM BLARES) 285 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,320 WOMAN: False alarm, everyone. 286 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,440 There was something weird about him. 287 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,880 Yeah. 288 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,280 He was a posh twat. 289 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,480 But you don't get arrested for that. 290 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,520 (SCOFFS) Just as well. 291 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,800 Me? You can talk. 292 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,920 My mum's a dinner lady and my dad's an electrician. 293 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,080 Well, where did I get the idea that your parents were doctors? 294 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,360 Ooh, er, from racist stereotypes? 295 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,120 Um, no! 296 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,240 No, no, no. Um... 297 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,520 - You... - I'm kidding. 298 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,080 You do know that, like, 299 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,520 not everyone gets this handed to them on a plate, right? 300 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,360 Like, it didn't even occur to my parents 301 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,000 that I could end up being a doctor. 302 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,040 All right, Little Orphan Annie. 303 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,600 How did you end up here, then? 304 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,520 (SPLUTTERS) 305 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:10,320 Er, my... Well, my dad was a doctor, and... 306 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,960 And he had this big plate? 307 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,640 DAD: No, I won't calm down, Anna. 308 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,640 What the hell did you think this was gonna achieve? 309 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,000 SHRUTI: Sorry, sorry... 310 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,200 I, er... Er, glad I... Glad I caught you. 311 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,000 Er, I was just discussing your case a bit more 312 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,080 with my colleague 313 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,680 and we thought that it'd be best 314 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,440 to keep you in overnight. For a test. 315 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,240 Er, what sort of test? 316 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,720 - A...a scan test. - So a scan? 317 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,040 - Yes, yes, exactly. - ANNA: What's wrong? 318 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,360 Is something wrong with the baby? 319 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,080 Oh, no, I... I'm sure everything's fine, 320 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,920 I just wanna check the baby's growing properly. 321 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,400 And you can't do it today? 322 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,680 Er, well, there actually aren't any slots till morning, 323 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,000 er, so if we just... Just to be on the safe side, probably best 324 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,320 - to stay in overnight. - DAD: That's fine. 325 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,840 I'll keep her company till visiting hours end. 326 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,200 - Is your phone charged? - Yep. 327 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,920 ADAM: It's going off every three minutes. 328 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:08,400 No, I don't have the error code for the secondary console. 329 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,280 (BEEP) 330 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,080 I don't even know what a secondary console is. 331 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:18,920 Listen, I need someone to come here with a toolbox, 332 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,360 a jumpsuit, and the phrase "I have fixed the alarm." 333 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,240 What? 334 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,280 Three weeks?! 335 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,400 Which of Neptune's moons are you based on, exactly? 336 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,120 Listen, forget it. 337 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,960 Pleasure doing business with you. 338 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,480 Er, can I help you? 339 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,720 Er, I'm starting an Ultimate Frisbee team. 340 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,040 Do you want in? 341 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,000 (ALARM BLARES) 342 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,480 Hi. 343 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,640 Sorry, hi. 344 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:00,880 Are you working on labour ward? 345 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:01,920 - Yeah. - Can you see 346 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,000 if you can do anything 347 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,480 to stop the alarm going off every three seconds? 348 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,960 I'll have a go. 349 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,080 Can you have a success? 350 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,760 (ALARM CONTINUES) 351 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,960 OK. 352 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,200 Just...just try to relax. 353 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,240 Oh, it's easy for you to say. 354 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,160 Went to the theatre last night. 355 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,080 - Oh, how thrilling for you. - In a way. 356 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,000 Had a massive argument with my mother. 357 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,280 Yes, and have you apologised yet? 358 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,920 - Didn't do anything wrong. - She's your mother. 359 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,240 She could be dead tomorrow. 360 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,120 I'll apologise in my eulogy, then. 361 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,040 Yep, there it is - all done. 362 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,480 How's that feel? 363 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,000 Better? 364 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,320 Better. 365 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,360 That's good. 366 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,800 Right, I will get you booked into clinic 367 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,080 to have it replaced in six months. 368 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:07,560 Will you be doing it? 369 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,920 Ah, it sort of depends on... 370 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,960 - Yeah. Sure. - That's a shame. 371 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,680 Just because it's only got one Michelin star 372 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,400 doesn't mean it's not a good restaurant, Mum. 373 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,600 Well, how on earth am I meant 374 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,840 to know how hygienic the kitchen is? 375 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,720 SHRUTI: Ria, who's the safeguarding midwife? 376 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,960 RIA: Oh, it used to be Paulette, but she left. 377 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,160 Thank God. If it's urgent, you can speak to Tracy. 378 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,000 OK, yep, see you at eight. 379 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,040 - Bye. - (MUM HANGS UP) 380 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,880 Don't forget to charge your broomstick. 381 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,160 SHRUTI: Adam, where's Tracy? 382 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,040 Dunno. Busy getting her MBE? 383 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,160 (CRASH, PAINED YELLING) 384 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,120 Jesus Christ. What's happened here? 385 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,400 I'll tell you in a minute. Can you just check her CTG? 386 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,160 First baby, 41 but otherwise low risk. 387 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,560 What happened in there? 388 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,320 Oh, my God. 389 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:05,800 Jesus. 390 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,400 Hi, I'm Adam. 391 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,520 - One of the doctors. - I was supposed to be 392 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:09,600 having a water birth. 393 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,200 You never know - one of the pipes 394 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,960 might come down. Baby's heart rate's 395 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,320 improving nicely. So sorry. We'll, er, 396 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,440 we'll, er, we'll get you somewhere, another room. 397 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,320 No, we don't have another room, 398 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,480 - so... - What? 399 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,840 ...we'll just clear this one up. 400 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:22,880 OK? 401 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,040 She's the boss. 402 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,200 What happened in there? 403 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,840 I'll tell you what didn't happen - the bloody alarm. 404 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,640 I pulled it twice, and nothing, 405 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,360 so I put a bit more welly into it... 406 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,920 - What did you do? - Nothing. 407 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,640 Don't bullshit me. 408 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,680 Well, the... 409 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,840 ...the alarm company couldn't send anyone for three weeks 410 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,720 so I asked a workman to... 411 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,080 ...have a go. 412 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,080 And how would you say they did, out of ten? 413 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,520 (SIGHS) Fuck this. 414 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,200 Good news. We've found you another room. 415 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,200 There's even a pool in there for water birth. 416 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,200 And can I still eat my placenta? 417 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,960 Sure, why not? 418 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,920 Dr Adam! 419 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:23,960 How's my little friend? 420 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,320 Oh, you know, just keeping busy. 421 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,400 Cleaned the oven this morning, then I came down here. 422 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,400 Er, can I ask what you're doing here? 423 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,560 Sorry, we, er, we did meet before but it was... 424 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,280 Yeah, it was only briefly. Er, I'm the doctor 425 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,320 - who delivered your nephew. - I know exactly who you are. 426 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,360 That's why I'm asking 427 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,560 if it's appropriate for you to be here right now. 428 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,600 Um...sorry, yeah, of course. 429 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,840 - I was just going. - Yeah. 430 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,320 ERIKA: Bye, Dr Adam! 431 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,480 HARRY: Go on, then, what's the damage? 432 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,160 Er, 10? 11? 433 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,320 (SIGHS) You remember you said 434 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:17,640 you'd go through my presentation 435 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,720 - when you got home? - Do you remember how 436 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,880 you wanted me to meet my mum for dinner? 437 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:26,920 Amazing! Well, good luck. Let me know how it goes, yeah? 438 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:27,960 Mmm. 439 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,680 And remember the magic words. 440 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,040 If she tries to suck out my soul, 441 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,320 I say, "Expecto Patronum". 442 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,160 I was thinking, "I'm sorry". 443 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,520 Good luck. 444 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,080 Oh, thank you, you've remembered us at last. 445 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,520 I hope it is to your satisfaction 446 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,640 - this time. - Are those chives? 447 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,320 And get him a new one, too, that's gone stone cold. 448 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:53,800 Of course, madam. 449 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:57,320 If you could maybe only spit in hers? 450 00:20:57,360 --> 00:21:00,880 I can't remember the last time I saw you two months in a row, 451 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,240 let alone two evenings. 452 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,080 How's work? 453 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,800 Er, yeah, work's... 454 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,280 ...fine, yes. 455 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,880 I'm acting registrar now - did I mention that? 456 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,240 Yes, it's wonderful news. 457 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,920 Your father and I are very proud. 458 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,200 Lesley's son's a professor. 459 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,520 L... Lesley's son's 50. 460 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:21,800 He said, she said. 461 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,360 Anyway, I'm showing a minister round the ward tomorrow. 462 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,320 Oh, that's fantastic, darling. 463 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:29,360 How many doctors were they choosing from? 464 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,960 - Quite a lot, actually. - Hundreds, I expect. 465 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:40,000 Um, so yesterday, at the... 466 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,200 ...at the theatre... 467 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,400 ...we didn't really get the chance to speak properly. 468 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,560 Well, you weren't there for half of it. 469 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,880 I said something pretty important to you 470 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:50,960 when I arrived. 471 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,600 - When you finally arrived. - What I'm saying is 472 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,600 I want to apologise to you 473 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,760 for not saying it in the best way. 474 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,280 But, er, it's important to me. 475 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,200 He's important to me. 476 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,000 When's Gregory's wedding? 477 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,480 I really like the girl he's marrying, don't you? 478 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,440 - She's very charming. - I'm talking to you 479 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,880 about Harry, though, aren't I, Mum? 480 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,200 Not Greg. 481 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,640 I'm saying to you 482 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,400 that I live with Harry. And we only have one bedroom. 483 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,160 Do you want a deposit on a bigger flat? 484 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,840 Is that what all this is about? 485 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,600 I'm saying to you, I live with Harry, 486 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,080 I'm very happy, and we love each other, and we're gay. 487 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:29,600 Both of you? 488 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,880 (LAUGHS) 489 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,600 - Yes, both of... - What was wrong with Helen? 490 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,800 You were so nice together. 491 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,040 - I'm gay, Mum. - Look. 492 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,760 I've watched you pull your pants down 493 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,640 at far too many children's birthday parties 494 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,520 to be fazed by one of your outbursts. 495 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,320 This is not an outburst. 496 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,480 Thank you. 497 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:52,560 Thank you. 498 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,360 I don't know what you're getting so uppity about. 499 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,800 I said to your father he seemed... 500 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,040 - ...fairly nice. - He is nice. He's very nice. 501 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,960 Did I tell you Monica's having her kitchen redone again? 502 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,400 Glass everywhere. 503 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,200 Looks awful. 504 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,720 Anyway, we're engaged. 505 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,040 We're getting married. 506 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,360 HARRY: So, how'd it go, then? 507 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,280 Yeah, fine. 508 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,600 She didn't kill you, then. That's something. 509 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:56,800 Yeah... 510 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,560 Yeah, she got it. 511 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,000 See? I knew she would, if you just apologised 512 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,160 for springing it on her. 513 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:10,040 So, um...what did she say? 514 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,400 Oh, you know, she mainly talked about herself. 515 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,920 But she was, er... 516 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,520 ...interested in you. 517 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,520 And, er, yeah, asked lots of questions. 518 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,880 Like what? 519 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,680 About your job, 520 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,200 and about your family. 521 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,440 And she said she can't wait to meet you properly, 522 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,920 next time she's in London, stealing Dalmatians. 523 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,240 I knew she'd be happy if you 524 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,200 - were just straight with her. - I think she'd be happier 525 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,440 if I was straight full stop. 526 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,920 Well, why don't we arrange for us to all meet up again? 527 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,240 I'm knackered, I should probably... 528 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,920 Or we can ask her over for dinner. 529 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,040 I can make...fajitas? 530 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,280 Does she like fajitas? I mean, who doesn't love fajitas? 531 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,080 - And I make amazing fajitas. - Harry... 532 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,400 These really good... 533 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,760 (ROMANTIC MUSIC) 534 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,200 (WHISPERS) Anna? 535 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,200 Anna? 536 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,400 (CLEARS THROAT) 537 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:26,560 Anna! 538 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,000 Anna... 539 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,440 - (ANNA GASPS) - My God. 540 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,640 God. 541 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,160 Oh, God, I'm so sorry, did I wake you? 542 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,320 I know the answer's yes. 543 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:41,040 I totally woke you up. I'm so sorry. 544 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,120 What's going on? 545 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,440 Er, I just wanted, er, to talk to you. 546 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,040 In the middle of the night? 547 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,280 I thought you might wanna have a chat? 548 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,120 And there's no-one else you can have a chat with? 549 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,320 Wait here just one, one second, just give me one second. 550 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,040 Do your scan now, shall we, yeah? 551 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,360 Just watch out... just watch out for that. 552 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:15,760 - Ooh! - Bit cold, sorry. 553 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,080 Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? 554 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:28,800 - They said she's a girl. - Yeah, I agree. 555 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,720 - That's her heart... - (HEARTBEAT POUNDS) 556 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,680 ...beating away there. That all looks good. 557 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,320 You know, it's really a weird job being an obstetrician. 558 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:41,920 Cos you always look after two separate patients at once. 559 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,320 (BEEP) 560 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:50,520 It's... 561 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,320 It's just since I've been pregnant. 562 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,160 It's not his fault. He's not a bad man. 563 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,640 What's changed since you've been pregnant? 564 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,040 (SIGHS) Ernie can be a real handful, 565 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,400 and his work's so stressful at the moment. 566 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:10,960 He didn't mean to. 567 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,160 Anna, will you let me help you? 568 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,680 What's that? 569 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,080 Nothing interesting, just a work form. 570 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,560 This suit too tatty? 571 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,600 Be honest. 572 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,560 If anything, it's impressive 573 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,000 you've managed to keep your school uniform so neat. 574 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,200 Where's the one you wore 575 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,840 - to Hannah's wedding? - Is that the wedding 576 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,440 - where we swam in the pond? - Yeah. 577 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:57,640 In the pond. 578 00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,720 Well, you look very handsome, 579 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,280 in your suit with your shoes, and that little bit 580 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,640 of beard you've left on your cheek. 581 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,800 Oh, Jeez. 582 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,400 HARRY: Oh, hey! 583 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,800 No, no, it's Harry. 584 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:19,960 No, no, he's just in the... the bathroom, 585 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,160 he'll be out in a sec. 586 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,080 Sorry we didn't get to chat much at the theatre. 587 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,400 Ha, thank you. Congratulations for? 588 00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:28,520 Oh, right. 589 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,080 Yes, of course. Silly me. Er... 590 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,480 - I can... - He's just here now. 591 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:32,880 I'll pass you over. 592 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,720 It's your mum. 593 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:41,760 Hi, Mum. 594 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,520 Mum, the signal is bad. I'll call you back later. 595 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:50,520 OK, bye. 596 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,040 I told her that we were engaged. 597 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,720 Yeah, I worked that bit out. 598 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,520 This better be a fucking amazing explanation. 599 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:02,440 You don't know her. 600 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:03,320 I'm starting to think I don't know you. 601 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,440 It was... It was the only thing I could think to say to... 602 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,320 ...make her take us seriously. 603 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,880 Well, wouldn't it be a good start if you took us seriously? 604 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,680 (LAUGHS) I proposed. That's serious. 605 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,720 Yeah, and what did I say? Hm? 606 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,800 Let me in. Let me know what's going on in there. 607 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,360 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 608 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:20,560 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 609 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,720 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 610 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,320 I knew it was a terrible idea coming out to her. 611 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:26,840 How can you say that? 612 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,560 Well, look what's happened. 613 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,040 - Come here. - Sorry. 614 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,120 It's OK. Well done for telling her. 615 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,360 - Er, what's going on here? - Some wiring issue. 616 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,400 - How long's it gonna take? - How long's a piece of wire? 617 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:47,720 Excuse me. 618 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,240 I presume this will be tidied away within the next hour? 619 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,320 Jesus Christ. 620 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,040 It's like downtown Basra in here. 621 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,600 I didn't think it would be possible 622 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:56,920 to make the place look worse. 623 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,720 We needed to stop the alarm misfiring, so I... 624 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,560 Threw a grenade at the ceiling? 625 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,400 God, and don't let the fire officer see that suit. 626 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,400 - The whole place could go up. - NURSE: Can we get a doctor 627 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,640 - into Room Three, please? - Tracy! 628 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,240 LOCKHART: Clean that up. The minister will be here... 629 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,120 Hi, I'm Adam, one of the doctors. We met yesterday. 630 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,000 Straightforward water birth three minutes ago, 631 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,720 placenta not coming easily, and now a bit of a bleed. 632 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,960 - Right. - (BABY CRIES) 633 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,760 OK, let's, er, pop you onto the bed 634 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,800 so the doctor can have a proper look. OK? 635 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,280 Er, and I... I can still eat my placenta 636 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,800 after this, you're... you're not gonna take it away? 637 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,600 That's a question for the midwives, not me, I'm afraid. 638 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,880 Yeah, it's perfectly natural. 639 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,280 Dogs do it. 640 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,360 They also eat their young and fuck the furniture. 641 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,160 Don't worry, it won't take long. 642 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,520 Is that pain relief OK? 643 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,200 OK. Right, first things first, let's see where 644 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,480 this bleed is coming from. 645 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,480 Yep, you've got a bit of a tear here. 646 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,080 Suture, needle-holder, scissors, large swabs. Thanks. 647 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,800 (MUM CRIES) 648 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,320 I'll be two minutes. 649 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,760 Just a quick bit of needlework. 650 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:03,880 DAD: Isn't she lovely? 651 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,480 That's the bleeding stopped. 652 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,000 TRACY: We'll get her weighed, as soon as Doctor's left. 653 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,640 Now, delicious.... 654 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,240 - ...placenta. - (SQUELCHY SLAP) 655 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,360 Hang on. Isn't.... 656 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,160 Isn't this... 657 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,040 ...the placenta? 658 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,360 No, that's blood clots from inside your... 659 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:26,760 That's blood clots. 660 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,160 (SHE RETCHES, PAGER BUZZES) 661 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,040 Crash call to gynae. Crash call to gynae. 662 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,440 (ALARM BLARES) 663 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,880 RESUS NURSE: 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. 664 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,600 NURSE: OK. I've got access. 665 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,480 ADAM: Er, can I help? I'm one of 666 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,320 - the obs and gynae registrars. - What do you know about her? 667 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,440 Er, Magda Winnicka, 85 years old, 668 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,240 long-stay stable vulval cancer patient, awaiting discharge. 669 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,080 - Otherwise fit as a fiddle. - Well, she's not now, is she? 670 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,120 PETR: I'm so sorry, Doctor, 671 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,400 I hadn't checked the notes before. 672 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,960 Oh, for God's sake. 673 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,280 This patient has a valid Do Not Resuscitate form. 674 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,680 Is everybody happy to stop CPR now? 675 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,640 No, come on, we can give her a good shot. 676 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,600 Resuscitation discontinued at 10:42. 677 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:09,800 ADAM: She was absolutely fine yesterday. 678 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,360 I fitted her a pessary, 679 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,760 - she was up in bed, talking. - We're not going against 680 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,360 a Do Not Resuscitate order authorised by the patient. 681 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:17,680 Are you happy to certify death? 682 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:23,880 (DOOR CLOSES) 683 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,360 I took my mum for dinner, by the way. 684 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,040 Total disaster. 685 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,200 Mostly my fault. 686 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,200 I told her I was getting married, 687 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,080 which was a bit of a lie. 688 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,320 I mean, I asked him, but he said no, 689 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,480 which is fair enough, really. 690 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:13,040 I always used to reckon I was good at medicine and... 691 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:14,840 ...bad at the other stuff. 692 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,640 Not doing great at either right now. 693 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,600 (PEN SCRATCHES) 694 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:06,960 Don't you dare haunt me. 695 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,000 (DOOR CLOSES) 696 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,160 GERMAN PROFESSOR: Oh, yes, yes. 697 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:32,040 I can see zat you will probably be dead by... 698 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,480 ...Freitag. 699 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,040 Zat one zere, 700 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,880 she has the worse case of worms I ever, ever seen. 701 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,880 ANNA'S HUSBAND: That's her bloody surname. 702 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:42,920 Have another look. 703 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,360 She's not on the antenatal ward. They told me she's here. 704 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,480 Just tell me what room she's in. 705 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,800 RIA: Of course, if you'll give me a moment. 706 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,240 Is this a joke? 707 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,320 What am I meant to do? 708 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,360 Anna, please don't worry about it, OK? 709 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,160 - It's gonna be all right. - (DOOR OPENS) 710 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,920 So, er, OK, we're gonna sort it out, all right? 711 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,080 - Sort what out? - Er... 712 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,760 ...we just need to run a few more tests. 713 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:17,880 How long is this gonna take? 714 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,120 I'm sure it won't take long. 715 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,280 Mr Hanson, actually, I'd prefer if you could give us 716 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,360 - a few more minutes. - You need to 717 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,880 - drop your attitude. - ANNA: Angus. Please. 718 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,160 She's had you in here all night. 719 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,400 She's fannying around, clearly doesn't know what she's doing. 720 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,000 Why don't I get someone else to come in 721 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,240 and do the scan, then, yeah? 722 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,400 Just do your little tests, 723 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,440 and we'll get home. 724 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,240 LOCKHART: Spit-spot, team, they'll be here any moment. 725 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,720 Ah. I guess pyjamas 726 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,640 are probably better than nylon and vomit. 727 00:36:58,280 --> 00:36:59,880 I had a patient die today. 728 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,040 Someone... 729 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,840 You know, someone I really cared for. 730 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,640 Well, you can't have cared for her that well if she died. 731 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:13,600 I thought I might go to her funeral. 732 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,680 You're not going to a patient's funeral. 733 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,760 It's unprofessional. 734 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,200 Did I say "go to her funeral" or did I say 735 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:20,680 "fuck her grandchildren"? 736 00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,040 Er... 737 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,880 I don't want to be unprofessional, I just wanna... 738 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,400 Wanna make sure that there's, er, a friendly face there. 739 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,000 Oh, you gonna make some balloon animals as well? 740 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,480 We've got boundaries for a reason. 741 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:39,240 Shit happens. You can't just let yourself feel it all. 742 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,240 RIA: They're just leaving the main building. 743 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,560 Be with you in three minutes. 744 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:44,960 LOCKHART: Eyes right. 745 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,200 - How long is this gonna take? - I just wanna monitor 746 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:53,960 the baby's heart for 15 minutes. 747 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,120 - Does it have to be that long? - Why don't I put 748 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,480 a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, 749 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:58,880 just to stop anyone coming in, cos the doors 750 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:00,760 don't have locks here. 751 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:01,640 Fine. 752 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,120 ERNIE: Neeeowwww! 753 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,120 Shut that child up. 754 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,800 (TEARFULLY) Ernie, darling, don't do that. 755 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,280 (CHATTER, CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 756 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,120 Call security now. Room One. 757 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,960 LOCKHART: Kay! Get back here. 758 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,440 Everything OK? 759 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:44,920 Yeah. We're, er, done here. Just heading home. 760 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:46,960 Thanks very much for all your help, love. 761 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,200 Anything I can do, Shruti? 762 00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:51,520 The problem I was worried about is a problem-problem. 763 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:54,520 This is the second full day of being messed around 764 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,840 by this department. And just so you know, Dr... 765 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,480 ...er, Kay, I am going to complain about all this. 766 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,920 Just give me five minutes with your wife, please, sir, 767 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:02,600 and then you can complain to the chief executive, 768 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,120 the Health Secretary, and Princess Michael of Kent 769 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,000 - for all I care. - We're leaving. Come on. 770 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,720 - No. - Hey! 771 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,400 That's assault. Did you see that? 772 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:11,520 - He assaulted me. Come on. - Ernie... 773 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:14,080 - Get out of my way. - You know what, 774 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:15,320 maybe we should just go home. 775 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,960 Sweetheart, listen, listen, listen. 776 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,520 - Can we just get Ernie? - Shut your mouth. 777 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,200 - No, hey... - Come with us, please. 778 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:21,240 This is mental. 779 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:22,960 - Totally unnecessary. - This way, sir. 780 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,800 I, I need to speak to somebody senior. 781 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,040 No, you need to come with us. 782 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,440 ANGUS: Tell them! I've done nothing wrong. 783 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,160 I'll leave this with you, Shruti. 784 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,720 ANGUS: This is ridiculous. Who do I need to speak to? 785 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:32,560 - Well done. - ANGUS: Anna! 786 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:36,800 LOCKHART: This is our most recently refurbished suite. 787 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,040 - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) - (VISITORS GASP) 788 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,320 Well, that was, er, something of a surprise. 789 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:47,880 Er, shall we? 790 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,880 Oh, shit, they're taking photographs. 791 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,720 Better change the patients' initials. 792 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,240 For confidentiality. 793 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,080 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 794 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,160 He'll be held overnight at least, 795 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,520 so that's time to get you and Ernie 796 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,400 - somewhere safe. - I don't need somewhere safe. 797 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,320 Anna, you don't have to put up with this any more. 798 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,640 He only got angry today 799 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:20,960 because it was all taking so long. 800 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,560 - You told me that he... - (CLEARS THROAT) 801 00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:28,200 Mummy's just going to the toilet - I'll be right back. 802 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,440 - (DOOR CLOSES) - Well, what now? 803 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,080 We'll work out a safeguarding plan. 804 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,480 You did really well today. 805 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,240 It's all fucking pointless, though, isn't it? 806 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,880 ERNIE: Fucking pointless. Fucking pointless. 807 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,200 (SIREN BLARES) 808 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,000 Hey. I thought you were gonna stand me up there. 809 00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:00,560 Oh, my God. 810 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,400 Oh, I'm so sorry. Er, what time is it? 811 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:05,520 How long have you been waiting? 812 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,800 Er, don't worry. 813 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,400 They're holding our table for us. 814 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:11,920 Er... 815 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,520 ...listen, do you mind if, if we raincheck, please? 816 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,520 I'm not feeling too great. 817 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,960 No worries. Another time. 818 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:23,520 See you around. 819 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:38,520 I will end with the Prayer of Commendation for the Dying. 820 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:44,960 To you, O Lord, we commend the soul of Magda Winnicka, 821 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,960 your servant. 822 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,240 In the sight of this world she is now dead. 823 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,640 In your sight, may she live forever. 824 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,080 Forgive whatever sins she committed 825 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,000 through human weakness... 826 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:02,200 (SPEECH FADES) 827 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,520 (ORGAN MUSIC) 828 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:13,680 Hey! 829 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,200 Are you OK? 830 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,000 I'm just... 831 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:33,120 I've had better days. 832 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,920 Were you...close? 833 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:41,080 Um... 834 00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,080 I think she hated me, actually. 835 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,920 Seriously, it really means a lot that you brought me here. 836 00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,160 Bring you to all the best places, don't I? 837 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,760 I've been thinking a lot about... 838 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,360 ...that question you asked me. 839 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,480 I've changed my mind. 840 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,680 Go on, ask it again. 841 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,280 Will you marry me? 842 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:29,680 Of course I will. 843 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,040 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. 844 00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,160 (BOTH LAUGH) 845 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,160 Good. 846 00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,440 Cos I've already booked the venue. 847 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,160 HARRY: Her grandson's fit, isn't he? 848 00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:00,640 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC)